CONFESSIONS

"Im here to see Father Braimah.
"Could you please state your mission? "
"To confess a fault"
     Mensa felt he had to correct her, tell her it was 'sin', but one look into her eyes and he scuttled away to call Father. She had the coldest eyes he had ever seen. Which contrasted sharply to the softness of her face. Hers was one of those faces you never forgot. Radiant skin, flawlessly unspotted face. He had only seen such faces on the television in Aunt Dzifas shop when he was sent to buy something. Television sets were considered frivolous equipments in the parish. There was none to be found there. Compared to most of the women in Kofikrom where he was born and lived before coming to the city, to serve as altar boy in St Margaret Mary's Catholic Church.  Her face looked like God had taken extra care to carve out its details. When she realized Mensa was staring at her, she smiled. An easy smile that could disarm a serial killer and bring him on his knees. It achieved its purpose; unsettling him and getting him to do her bidding without the proper use of his faculties. He realized this error when he stood before Father;
"Why didn't you direct her to the confessional and tell her to wait with those coming for confession? "
He only stared at the floor.
"What is her name?"
"Angel , Father"
"Tell her I will be with her shortly",
      Father was too kind to not attend to anyone, but where on earth had he come up with the name Angel?        Mensa made a note to hurry with his chores and attend confession himself.
   "Hello my daughter, how are you? "
That smile appeared again
    "I'm fine sir"
"Please call me Father, how may I help you? "
    "I have a sin that's eating at my heart and threatens to consume my soul. I must speak to you about it"
     Father had never met her, and she was obviously not a a Catholic, he could tell by the way she went about her confession. He briefly wondered why she had chosen his parish in particular.
"You speak not to me only but to the Lord, do sit down and make your confession".
"At exactly 11am, two hours from now, Reverend Aidoo would be dead"
"And how do you know this? "
"Because I would be doing the killing"
Father watched her face carefully, to see a flicker of emotion, any at all, with the trained eyes of a man of the pulpit who hardly missed a single detail. There was none.
His voice when he spoke deliberately matched her own expressionless self "why would you kill a renowned, anointed, kind man of God? "
"Because I could not satisfy him" she answered simply.
      A look of pain flashed across her face, briefly marring her almost ethereal beauty
"Please explain"
     "I would tell that story briefly. I am a member of his church. Faith Unlimited Christian Church. Been a member this past year and half. Thats where I met him."
     She stood, started pacing the hall, taking her surrounding in, observing the photos hanging on the wall, her voice however not missing a beat. Her hands traced the outline of a photo of Jesus hanging on a cross, her voice cool, almost detached, as if passing a message she had no idea about.
"I met him at a down moment, emotionally troubling moment, I had no one to talk to so I visited his church, its close to me. I live alone Father" she explained, and laughed at the surprised expression on his face
"Yes I know few girls my age live alone here, but I do".Father Braimah was quiet,allowing her to continue,
"I went to see him, you know, to pray for me. The medications from the hospital were quite useless", she shrugged, "and there were lots of testimonies. He is a gentleman, very patient, like yourself, and I began to commit to church.I owed him my sanity, my peace of mind. It was a pleasure to hear from him, and then one day he visited me.He told me he loved me.I was surprised because he has a very beautiful wife, with three kids"
Father smiled, it was obvious she had no idea how strikingly beautiful she was herself.
  "The Reverend can be very persistent. Whatever the Reverend wants, he gets"
  The shrug again.
"I didn't want to offend him, I needed him. But I had never done anything with a man before. He sensed my resistance when he undressed me, so he stopped. Left. Never saw him in my home until four months again. "
She sat down and stared at Father Braimah's face
   "Father, have you ever wanted something and yet it felt so wrong, but you wanted it so bad?"
He smiled gently, as if he had all the time in the world to listen to her.
    "A lady has to respect a man right? Submit, the Bible says, right? Well,he came back. I didn't want him to think I was playing hard to get, so I tried yielding. But it was so painful when he tried to..", her voice drifted off and she sighed deeply. Father was quite surprised, he knew Reverend Aidoo to be a committed family man, but he wasn't about to judge him, All men had their weaknesses. Everyone had their own demons they were battling with. She wasn't done though
    "I learnt that women are to give men pleasure, but I couldn't. I only left him frustrated. It was so embarrassing. My first test of womanhood, sir, and I failed terribly", Her lips quivered, and her hands flew to her face as if she couldn't believe her tears would betray her.
    Father was intrigued, he had never met a lady as intense as her before.
"Daughter, the Lord has heard you and forgive..,
She interrupted him,
"Forgive me? For what offense? That act is not my sin, that's the Reverends sin. I know now he doesn't want me, he only wanted my body, Do you know he hasn't called me since then? "
Father smiled "I see why you want to kill him, but.."
She cut him off again, her voice sounded exasperated  when she spoke
"Why would I kill him because he doesn't call me? I couldn't care less. I am angry. I am angry at all those godforsaken outlets, which lied and said sex is lovely, sex is glorious, sex is heaven. Nonsense", she spat the word out, "Plain deception, they never spoke about the pain with such details, the discomfort!", she sighed again.
    Father Braimah realized this lady needed more than just a few minutes of dialogue. How did he explain that sex could be beautiful when done right, giving satisfaction to both parties? He needed to explain also that the Bible said women were to submit to their husbands, not to just any man. Her eyes looked so cold he almost shivered.
"I know you have been wounded and broken, but wipe your tears, God would heal your heart"
She shook her head, "Father, you are not getting me, i'm angry because I failed. I never do. I couldn't satisfy him, and that's failure, and failure makes me angry. And when I get angry", she laughed "I kill".
It was hard to believe this angel could even utter such words.
"When I turned seven, I had a party. None of the girls in my class came, they said I was mean.A new girl in my neighborhood came, only her. We were playing outside, when I decided to show her my dolls.My parents were always out at work, and they kept buying me dolls to play with. When I went in, Scotty our dog, broke his chain and bit her.The gardener took her to my dad's clinic. After chaining it.I drew a knife and got it in the throat, bled to death. Great satisfaction. "
Father's eyes bulged.
"You see I spent lots of my time with the gardener. He was my only friend, the maids refused to talk to me.He taught me how to use knives skillfully.", she laughed again, "I slaughtered most of the animals my parents bought for the house before I turned ten, they had no idea."
"My sixteenth birthday, I threw another party. I begged everyone to come, told them I was going to have the biggest cake ever. That convinced them, and then the stupid caterer changed the order. Said she had been busy. Everyone laughed at me. Mummy said not to worry. Of course. I paid her a visit, she was found dead later,  throats slashed. Dad knew it was me, but couldn't report her only child. Mum cried when she was told I needed help, there were bitter fights, finally agreed to isolate me, send me to a madhouse, I  threatened to kill them, and they agreed I should live alone. The only one who comes over is Adiza, she washes and cleans. Then we talk.My first friend, treated me as a human, until Reverend."
Father Braimah was still in shock.
"Do you only kill with knives? " he asked
"Of course, i'm good with it. I told you I don't like to fail. And as long as Reverend lives he would remind me that I failed in bringing him pleasure" she explained.
"What if he gives you another chance? "
"Too late, he doesn't want me again. He dies today, I have to go."
Father checked how much time he had to warn the Reverend. He didn't have his number, and didn't know if he would be at home. He knew his house, but it was obvious she knew his current location. And how would he explain if he locked her in.
"Oh Father, don't try anything funny. You know my cleaner Adiza? Her first name is Mary..does it ring a bell? "
Father slumped in his seat , he was unable to stop his lips from uttering 'Jesus!'
She smiled, 'yeah she cleans this parish, sixteen year old girl, you have been sleeping with her for two years. Make a move and watch what the world believes, me a killer, ;or you a child molester.
Father drew the sign of the cross
"Yes pray that the Lord forgives me for murder.bless you Father", she turned and shut the door behind her.